Bravo Destroy the Joint for your apology.
I would like another favour from you. I was delighted when the site began. I have been a supporter of the “liberation” (and I use that word carefully) of women since 1952 when I was just eleven years old. I have followed the highs and lows of the yet continuous upward trajectory for the recognition of equality of opportunities for women across the world.
But, again, the movement has become diversifying rather than uniting.
We do not have one “enemy”. Whilstsoever there are unfortunate people who need help of any gender (or not) we must also acknowledge their needs and not count their needs as less important than ours are.
If we really want to be equals we must never forget the needs of men, and particularly young boys who are often cast into a role half way between a super hero and a super villain while they are very young. And many mothers must take some of the responsibility for doing this! How can we expect little boys to succeed in this mixed role whilst loving, “saving” and yet acknowledging as equals, their mothers and sisters. And I disagree with your stand that money should not be devoted to education and counselling aimed at preventing disaffected boys and men from becoming or continuing to be abusive, until all victims are helped. I think this is one of the best ways to help stop abuse and the two courses of action should be concurrent.
I have shuddered at your counting of dead women. I shudder for these poor women. I shudder, also, at the way you demean their lives and personalities as a statistic, in a way with which they may not agree.
I acknowledge any physical abuse as something totally abhorrent. I think such should be dealt with with the full force of the law. I freely acknowledge, as I think most men do, that men tend to be physically abusive more than women. I also know that men are usually much stronger than women. But they also outnumber women as victims of physical abuse from other men. Their plight should also be considered.
But men are not completely on their own as being”controlling”. Men are not on their own as being physically abusive to children. Men are not on their own as being isolating. All these things are unacceptable. They totally are unacceptable when done by men. They are totally unacceptable when done by women.
I very much admire some of the work Annabel Crabb has done in describing how men and women can, and should, co-operate at difficult stages in life around care of children when needs are both very different for each gender and are very different from what has gone before and what will happen in the future for both genders. Traditional roles may have disappeared to a significant extent but they hang over our heads and are used freely by all of us when we want to have our way.
Come on Destroy The Joint. You started off so well. Be there for everybody in our continuing search for equality of opportunity for us all. Let’s not end up, as so many feminist liberation attempts have done, in playing the “blame game” when all we need to do is to both teach and learn to co- operate with one another with love and respect.