I am a non violent person and am very much of the opinion that we must do all we can to stop domestic violence, a violence which permeates many unfortunate families and adversely effects thousands of children over years.
However I think we should use all the means at our disposal to stop such violence.
I read Dr Tanveer Ahmed’s recent contribution to this debate with interest.
With the figures widely available to us, there is no way we should ignore his contribution as to one of the ways that this problem can be attacked. If some pattern can be established that sheds light upon why some of these men are violent, and indeed why some of these otherwise intelligent women have them back, then we are equipped with more armoury to attack this real problem in society.
From time to time in my past life (prior to retirement some time ago) I was professionally involved in, et al, one or two groups for men who have been violent. I would agree with Dr Ahmed’s view of the reasons for their violence and the frailties which they show. I bear in mind these are men who have agreed to accept help, albeit under some duress.
But it is also interesting to talk to many of the women victims. They too have seen the vulnerability in their partners. They too feel pity for that helplessness and fear. They, too, see that the self loathing and undertakings to reform are sincere at the time they are given. But that is not enough to stop it happening over and over again!
To stop this problem we must, first, help the children and women involved.
But, if we are genuine we must also help these men. And if we apply the same sort of understanding to this issue as we do to juvenile crime, we must look for means which allow us to work with young men before these attitudes and emotional difficulties become entrenched.
It is not a case of women v men. It must be a case of both genders working together to make every effort to stop violence of any sort within families.